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December 24th, 2003

First, Happy Holidays to everyone, whatever you may celebrate. Hope you're all enjoying the end of 2003.

I wanted to tell you all about my evening yesterday. I had dinner with an old friend, actually I had dinner with my ex-fiancee to be more precise. Ha, stunned aren't you? Never thought I was capable of having one of those. Ok actually if you read my Bio page you already knew :-P Anyways, it was nice to catch up with her. I haven't seen her in over a year and I only chat with her occassionally on IM. We went to a beautiful little restaurant all decked out in holiday regalia and teeming with happy people in the Christmas spirit. It was nice but I couldn't help wondering how vastly different my life would be if every minute of every day wasn't spent in some way effected by my GD. I'll be honest. It was the first time this year I realized that it was even Christmas time at all. Anyways, we chatted away like any old friends catching up. She has a great job and seems to be really happy and it felt good to just relax and be myself with someone.

In the end, although I wanted to tell her about my transitioning and everything else, I realized it wouldn't be totally fair to spread the word before I gave the 'rents a chance to deal with it. In her defense, she did comment on how long my hair has gotten (to which I made some poor excuse) and she told me I have the nicest fingernails on a guy she's ever seen, HA! Not for long. So yeah eventually the night ended and I headed back home. Back to my little room and my GD, but I know someday it will all be a memory. Here's to better days...

"If you see dark skies
In my green eyes
It's just that I can't find no cover
These ghosts that haunt me
They get me when they want me
And some days are better than others

I didn't sleep last night
I guess that's the price
You pay for a soul that's troubled
And curse or blessing
I'm here confessing
Some days are better than others..."

--Trisha Yearwood



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