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November 7th, 2003

First thank you to everyone who reads my site and sent me email since my last post. You're all so nice, thanx for looking out for me :-) So now where were we, lets see...

Spent this week buried in school work. Tests every two weeks with quizzes in between and group work and meetings etc adds up to a busy schedule, but if you've been here before you already knew that. Another exam Monday. Blah.

Okay, let's get to the interesting stuff right? Chatted on Yahoo the other day with someone that I knew from "before". A very interesting experience. Funny thing was that he didn't have a clue (or at least he never let on and didn't seem to think anything was amiss). At first it sort of weirded me out, like a link to the past. I had this terrible flashback to that feeling you have right before you really "come out" to others for the first time. Then I thought about it some more and realized that in the greater scheme of things it really didn't mean anything. For one thing, we didn't have any real mutual friends from the past (at least that I'm aware of), we really didn't know each other very well in the first place, and even if he had recognized me it wouldn't have been that hard to just explain things to him (make that three things). Although I don't run down the streets shouting about my transsexuality, I do have a site on the internet and if someone were to ask me about this sort of thing I'd prolly do my best to be honest and straight forward with them about it. I'm not your Jerry Springer/in your face/drag queen/proactivist/freakshow, I just want to be treated like anyone else. I think if the general public could see past this silly escapade that seems to be all over tv to the transsexual women who just want to integrate into society and be allowed to live their lives, things would be a lot easier. Hmm...maybe in a perfect world...

New topic. Recently (in the last few months) I joined a message board on the internet for ts women. At first I just considered it a good place to catch information from people who have transitioned before, but imagine my suprise when I really started to feel like I was part of a community online. Not like your everyday message posts or yahoo/msn group, these women are around all the time and their personalities show through so strongly. I already feel like I know some of them sooo well. Anyways there was a point to this. To all the other ts girls out there, find someplace where you really feel like you belong. Whether it's an online forum with good friends or a local support group in person or whatever. Even in just this short period of time I've gained a ton of support. Makes it easier to get up in the morning and face the world. Definitely worth the effort.

Okay, I'll stop babbling. In recap:
Too much school
It's ok to be who you are
Find some support

I'm out.

"...Are we locked into these bodies?
Let's hold out for something sweeter
Spread your wings and fly
Oh, are we locked into these bodies?
Are we anything at all?
Let's hold out for something sweeter
Spread your wings and fly
This distance is dreamin'
We're already there tonight..."

--Live


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