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September 24th, 2003

Okay so I added some more photos that I took a few nights ago at some early morning hour. Don't complain if they're a little dark. Such is life. Transitioning is such a long process. It seems like we're always waiting for something...waiting for your hair to grow out, waiting for hormones to take effect, waiting to finish up electro/laser, waiting for surgeries, waiting to save enough money to pay for it all, waiting to be excepted for who you really are. So many aspects that need to be addressed during transition. I think I'll feel lost when everything's finally done. Maybe then I'll just be able to sit back and enjoy the fact that I've finally become the person I was always supposed to be. It's very hard to imagine being done with transitioning. Sitting here at the beginning it looks like such a long road. It's very inspirational to see other girls who were in the same place at one time, feeling the same way, and they were able to overcome. One of my biggest fears about deciding to finally go through with all this, was being weak and giving up along the way. However, I think I've realized that for those of us who have to make this choice, backing out never really is an option. Not because most of this process isn't reversible (did that double negative make sense?), but rather because I know that I couldn't live with myself if I knew I wasn't actively pursuing the dream of feeling complete for once in my life. Okay, I suppose that's enough serious rhetoric for one entry.

"Ad astra per aspera."

(A rough road leads to the stars.)


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