Wednesday, 14 April 2004 - 6:46 PM EDT

I totally understand what you mean about having a kid someday. I try to tell myself all the time that I don't ever want a child of my own. Thats only to try an harden myself against the fact that I do and I'll never be able to. It is probably the only thing I dislike besides being born this way.

Laters,

Kait :P

Wednesday, 14 April 2004 - 6:52 PM EDT

Dealing with the fact that I'll never have my own genetic children has probably been one of the most difficult parts of my transition so far. Of course no one has ever cursed me out on the street for straddling the gender divide, or attacked me in a dark alley because my appearance confused them, or passed me up for a promotion that I was best qualified for because I was born the way I am. I'm sure once I get to experience all that I'll have a lot of other things on my mind that will crowd this one out.

*Sigh*

Thursday, 15 April 2004 - 4:46 PM EDT

I admitt I'm a little ignorant about this sort of thing because i'm only a crossdresser and not a full on transexual, but, is there an option at all to maybe go to a fertility clinic and have some of your sperm frozen before you make the change? I know they can do that sometimes for people who have testicular cancer and are concerned about their potancy after surgery. I mean, it's not the same as actually getting to experience childbirth, but it's an option if you were with a woman (T* for instance, though granted such a decision is years away) and wanted to have a child that was both of yours.

Thursday, 15 April 2004 - 5:36 PM EDT

Hi Zoe,

Although that's the method most transsexual women use when they want to have genetic children of their own further down the line, it's not possible in my case. I've been on hormone replacement therapy now for 12 months or so and so I don't produce any viable swimmers anymore. It's also unlikely at this point that going off hormones would have an impact on this due to atrophy of the tissue. I would have stored sperm before I started but the costs are quite high (at least for a college student) and so I sort of had a choice of storing them or starting transition. Didn't have money for both and the first option is silly without actually being on hormones so that was my dilemma at the time. I knew what I was doing and I stand by my decision. I was unwilling to wait until I finished school to start transition at a time when I could afford both (still 2 years away at this point and 3 years away back then). It's just difficult to deal with at times.

Thanks for the suggestion (also suggested by several readers via email, thanks to you too). Wish I could have made it happen.

Sunday, 18 April 2004 - 9:56 PM EDT

hey kiddo, is it just me, or do your comments pages really have white text on a white background?! i had to highlight all the text with my cursor to read it...

anyways, i'm right there with ya about the having genetic children thing... and seeing a pregnant woman only serves as a stark reminder of my inability to have children... it always makes me tear up, without exception.

..claire

Thursday, 22 April 2004 - 5:12 PM EDT

Hi Claire,

It doesn't come up white on white for me...but my web design skills are nothing spectacular. What type of browser are you using? Perhaps that's the problem.

It's kind of odd about children. I thought I had come to terms with not having children when I started HRT but I guess in some ways you can never fully understand that decision until it starts to really sink in or you are constantly reminded about it by outside influences. I have no problems with adoption, and I'd love to do it regardless of my circumstances, but there's nothing like having your own genetic child...hrm...ah well.