Warning: Rambling Post Ahead
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Summer Overture
Finally, finally, finally I've started to take my dieting seriously again. For the last almost 6 months now I've been one of those on again off again part time dieters. Mostly because I was just too busy with school and my research (and a million other things) to count calories or even plan ahead of time where my next meal was coming from. This invariably meant that meals came from take out and restaurants and anything quick and convenient and we all know that's synonymous with fatty. It may surprise some of you (it seems to whenever it comes up in chat) that in January of 2003 I weighed in at a cool 208 pounds. Scary, no? Honestly though, most of that was healthy weight (i.e. muscle vs. flab) as I spent a lot of time at the gym. Perhaps I thought that if I improved my body image enough as a boy it would make my GID better. That wasn't the case. Infact, as I got bulkier I got more depressed. Historically, I've had quite a high metabolism so to keep my body weight up over 200 pounds I had to eat constantly all day long. I was taking in something like 5000 calories a day (FDA reccommended being around 1800 for women and 2000 for men on a regular diet) so when I decided to transition in March and went back to a regular balanced intake of about 2000 calories (give or take) my weight dropped back down like a rock. Just not low enough that I was happy with it.

My thinking is that there are two common female body types, the curvy girl and the stick. Unfortunately, it's very hard to be that curvy girl when you start hormone replacement after puberty is over (i.e. after 16-18 ish), it's just not something your body is willing to do. Granted, you get a better fat distribution (less around the heart and midsection and more around the hips), but it tends not to be enough to fill the curvy girl image out. So that leaves me (and many other transsexual women) with the option of having some curves in the wrong places or trying to do away with most of the curves altogether. Now this isn't to say that you won't still have some of the female curves, but a thinner woman tends to have fewer or milder curves which is the limit of what most transsexual women can achieve. With this in mind, I know my BMI needs to be on the lower end of healthy (18-20) rather than on the high end (23-25) to make "passing" (yes, that nasty word) easier. A thin female with mild curves is easier to believe than a larger female with a few curves in the wrong places.

So when I started hormones and moved my diet back down into a normal range my weight dropped back down quickly. Some from decreased caloric intake with a high metabolism and some from muscle mass decrease from a lack of testosterone in my system. In fact after channeling my gym efforts into cardio and away from strength training, my weight was going down at around a pound every day and a half all the way until about mid April of 2003. At that point I had gotten rid of most of my gains in the previous years from the gym but I still wasn't in the range I was looking for. Enter, my diet (and skip a few months).

So with summer rolling around, I really want to be slimmer so I'll look passingly decent when T* and I head out on the town. For the past two weeks, I've finally been consistently hitting my mark of about 1200 calories a day and the results are beginning to show. Keep in mind, you only need to burn 3500 calories to lose a pound so by adhering to a calorie limitation you can predict with some accuracy when you'll hit your target weight. I'm looking forward to those wispy summer fabrics now and hoping once I get to my ideal weight I'll be able to stay there. Afterall, it's way too hot in the summer to be covering up with long sleeves or baggy pants.

In other news, T* and I got confirmation today that we did infact get approved for our new apartment (it was basically a forgone conclusion anyways, but nice to know). We need to go sign the lease and start moving in a week or so. Can't wait!