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December 27th, 2003

Was Santa good to you on Christmas?

So what do you do on a Saturday morning at 3:00 am when all your friends are either in San Francisco or out or asleep? Why order a pizza and some Buffalo wings of course. I suppose I could have gone to the bars (they're open till 4 am here), but I didn't have anyone to go with *Pout* Where are all the other young ts girls that live near me? *Sigh* So yeah, we have pizza places open here till 3 am, actually we have pizza places here open till 5 am, but I digress. So I was all dressed up, well, er... that is I was dressed up to go clubbing, but as I said couldn't find anyone I knew who was around, when I went to pick things up. No odd looks from the girl at the counter, but then she may not have been completely conscious at the time. Who am I to say? It was fun though and nice to get out even if it was just for a drive and some eats. Did I mention we have the best wings in the history of the universe? OMG *eyes roll back in head* so so good. No wonder everyone here is fat.

When I got back I was just in time to catch up to the San Francisco girls before they headed out on the town. I so wish I could have gotten out there to catch up with everyone over the holidays. Sounded like they had a pretty good group. I'm still waiting for the details though so we'll reserve judgement. Did I mention how incredibly, insanely jealous I am of the girls who made it out there? Eep!

So yeah, Christmas. I saw the 'rents. Both of them. My inner monologue kept breaking in and saying, "Remember this day well, it may be the last time you see some of these people." It was definitely a bit sad. I usually don't really enjoy going home for the holidays. It always felt like more hassle than it was worth, but it was a little different this year. Everyone got along. Everyone was friendly. I talked with some people that I haven't really spoken too or even seen much in years. I felt the warmth that was family in a way I hadn't in many years. Ironic. I didn't ask for anything as far as gifts because I couldn't think of anything I needed or wanted. I was actually just hoping people would sort of gloss over me. No need to feed the commercial monster that is Christmas when I really didn't want much. I ended up getting a lot of cash. Hm, wonder what they would think if they knew it was going to pay for blocks of electro/laser this coming semester? Actually, the best gift I got was a few minutes early in the morning at my mom's house to use their scanner and copy a bunch of photos from when I was little. I'm almost positive that she'll never accept me (due to current circumstances) after I disclose in the next month or so and I really wanted those memories from my childhood that I could capture on glossy. Right. So that was my Christmas. Drive, see family, drive, see family, drive, see family, drive, drive, drive, home. So yeah, if you have family, appreciate it. Or donate to me when I lose mine early next year.

"We only come out at night, the days are much too bright
We only come out at night
And once again, you'll pretend to know me well, my friends And once again, I'll pretend to know the way
Thru the empty space
Thru the secret places of the heart
We only come out at night, the days are much too bright
We only come out at night
I walk alone, I walk alone to find the way home
I'm on my own, I'm on my own to see the ways
That I can't help the days, you will make it home o.k
I know you can, and you can
We only come out at night, the days are much too bright
We only come out at night
And once again, you'll pretend to know that
There's an end, that there's an end to this begin
It will help you sleep at night
It will make it seem that right is always right
Alright?
We only come out at night..."

--Smashing Pumpkins



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